Do you have any interest in a video that features a fight between two homely looking girls who can barely throw a decent looking punch? No? How about a video that features a fight between perfect 10s who also happen to be two of the best female stage fighters in the world? Yeah, that sounds better.
The plot of Chronicle of a Female Pit Fighter is pretty simple. Here’s the explanation straight from the site itself: A dream vacation shattered! newlyweds forced into a secret society they never even knew existed… one of gruesome underground fighting! The stakes are high… fight or ! His blindfold removed, Ted is prodded forward. His opponent a buxom and sadistic circuit champion… The ruthless female moves in with raised, her body swaying as though she’s done this a hundred times before… her cold eyes craving another ! Within moments the man’s body lay beaten beneath her. Suzie tries to run but its no use… There is no other option but to fight! With lips trembling she rises to her feet, fingers clenched, raised… Two years of kickboxing classes have not prepared her for the battle she is about to wage…. Breathing deeply she looks her opponent in the eye… The fight is on!
I think the best place to start is with the female leads. Call it a hunch, but I’m guessing that neither of these girls has difficulty getting a date. They are both ridiculously good looking. I imagine that many of HM’s readers recognized the blonde as Amy Johnston, who played Avalon in the first ever The Battle for Earth release. Her opponent in the film actually collaborates frequently with Amy, and her name is Anna Ranoso. If you enjoy martial arts, I highly suggest you go to YouTube and search “Amy versus Anna.” I suspect you will like what you find. I myself am a huge fan of martial arts films. Unfortunately, Hollywood has just about destroyed the genre with a string of horrible releases. Almost all of the best martial arts material is now produced online, and Amy and Anna are a huge part of that world.
Anyway, Anna quickly beats down the husband, setting the stage for an Amy vs. Anna smackdown. The fight itself is actually a little messier than the videos they tend to star in on YouTube, and I mean that as a compliment. It is very well-choreographed and features kicks, punches, dodges and blocks, but there are also moves like strangleholds, body scissors and hair pulling that you usually don’t see in their videos. Both of these girls are super talented and the sheer speed they posses is astonishing. In my opinion, the girls at KickAssKandy do fight scenes better than just about anyone else. All of the Kandy Girls are talented and physically capable of doing tremendous things, but on their best day they aren’t in Amy or Anna’s league as stage fighters. Not even close. These two girls are just that good.
There is only one word of dialogue in the film, and the first five or so minutes is heavy metal/techno music played over the initial fight scene. The only complaint I have is with the punch sound effects. It sounds like the girls are slapping each other across the face with wet sponges. That’s pretty much my only criticism of what is otherwise a really fun film.
I don’t want to spoil the ending, but things are very much left open ended and a continuation of the story is promised in the closing credits. While I wouldn’t call this a “peril” film, there are definitely perilous moments. The obvious highlight is the girls. They are sheer beauties who are at the top of their game.