Here we are with a review of the best KickAssKandy film of all time. Yes, the best of all time. Here’s my review of I Kickass, which features “possilby the most powerful Kandygirl of all time,” according to the KickAssKandy web site.
First, let me tell you a little story about a girl named Vixen. I think we’ve only mentioned her once before, but she is absolutely an A-List Kandygirl, right up there on the same pedestal as Hi-Kix, Silver, and a select few others. She’s a tall, incredibly sexy blonde, with an absolutely flawless figure. And I’ve always been a big fan, but what I didn’t know is that she is truly a great actress.
You see, I’ve seen her one more time than everyone else in the fan base. And that’s because on top of the custom that will kick off this summers forthcoming Kandy Crisis saga featuring Hi-Kix, I also commissioned a second custom starring Vixen. And my God, was she great in situations that she normally does not play in a KickAssKandy film. Now, to the review.
In a black catsuit and boots, Vixen rounds a corner and gets a phone call from Kandyman himself. And he tells her that Silver has come out of hiding. She arrives at Silver’s hideout, knocks on the door, and comes face to face with a masked goon who won’t let her in. So to distract him, Vixen unzips her catsuit and gives the goon a little preview of what’s underneath before punching him in the nads. She then proceeds to absolutely destroy him like she has done to so male goons in the past.
She enters another room and finds another goon and after taking a punch, she decimates him as well. Vixen then sneaks up some stairs and runs into one of the bigger male goons I’ve ever seen in a Kandy film. She hits him twice across the face with a clipboard, but it doesn’t hurt him at all. He then grabs Vixen by the waist and hoists her into the air. But she breaks the hold with a headbutt and hits another low blow. She then hits a couple more kicks and punches but she is shocked to see that he is still on his feet and pretty much unhurt. But she eventually gets the better of him when she gets behind him and hits three hard punches to the face.
Vixen easily takes out two more male goons and then we get to one of the things that makes this episode so great, and that is the introduction of the female minion to the KAK world. More on this later. But the female minion isn’t alone. She has two other goons with her, one who sneaks up behind Silver and locks on a choke hold. And then the female minion comes in and starts hitting stomach punches on Vixen. The female minion then hits a roundhouse kick and the other goon hits some hard face punches.
But Vixen fights back, drops the two male goons, and sends the female goon down and onto a couch. Vixen pulls the female goon up by her throat and hammers her with punches and a kick to the face. But the female goon fights back, hits some kicks to Vixen’s face and pushes her away. But in the end Vixen is too much and she knocks her down with a hard punch to the face. She then destroys the other two goons and then heads off to go find Silver.
Since this is the best KickAssKandy film of all time, there are four things I need to discuss.
1. The KAK custom program – It’s incredible and I can speak from experience. Just look at the last three releases. We got the awesome beatdown of Skarlet and her friend by Diva. We got Ella Palfrey in a tremendous looking Wonder Woman costume. And we got this film. Not to mention the Kandy Crisis event coming this summer. All of the films mentioned above were customs. All four are different films with different scenarios and appeal to different tastes. But the one thing they have in common is that they are all awesome. If you are interested in a Kandy custom, here you go: http://KickAssKandy.com/custom/ And yes, they will do peril.
2. Vixen – Yeah, I’m not done talking about her. I’ve said that Ella is the best martial artist of the girls and that Diva is the most athletic, but nobody is more physical than Vixen. And I think one of the things she does better than anybody is deliver kicks and punches that look real and extremely powerful. She just really is the whole package. A top of the line performer in all respects.
3. The female minion – I imagine most of you noticed but just in case let me tell you that this character was played by none other than Clare Elise herself. And kudos for the man that goes by the name of Darklord over at the KAK message board for thinking this up. The main event which is coming is obviously Vixen vs Silver. But instead of having Claire sitting on set all day doing nothing, why not throw a mask on her and make her a goon? I wish I would have thought of something like that. We have had a Darklord post at this site and I don’t think they are the same person. I imagine Darklord is a popular internet name, but whoever you are out there Darklord, thank you. This was phenomenal.
4. I have not had a chance to ask Kandyman yet, but since the Silver vs Vixen fight is F/F, I’m guessing he is going to release it under the KickAssFemmes label. Maybe next Friday? Don’t quote me on that. It’s just a guess. I don’t know for sure. Kandyman visits this page so I am sure he will let us know.
My only gripe is that I wish it was a bit longer. I would have loved to see Vixen struggle a little more with the big dude and also go at the female minion a little more. But that doesn’t stop me from still calling this the best KickAssKandy film ever made. And I hope you all give the Vixen experience a chance, because she is a special performer.