UPDATED with Review! Kandy Crisis 9: Against The Clock

I feel incredibly fortunate that Kandy Crisis is happening. Outside of commissioning an expensive custom, most fans just crave seeing their dream episode from whatever producer they happen to be a fan of. I get to see my dream series come to life headed by my two favorite producers and featuring several of my favorite actresses in the genre. Talk about a dream come true.

It’s just everything I ever wanted to see. I so much prefer spy girls to superheroines and it’s been such a thrill ride to see the Kandygirls challenged like never before. Even in the episodes where they have emerged victorious they always have their backs against the wall, something we just had never previously seen before. And the fact that they got AJ, the first Kandygirl to return has just put this series over the top for me.

Anyway, as I usually do in these reviews, here’s a quick series recap.

Episodes 1-4 – Hit Woman takes out Hi-Kix, Vixen, Silver, and AJ in consecutive fights. AJ is the only one taken captive.

Episode 5 – AJ is forced to fight every day for six months but her abilities are limited by certain command words placed in her mind.

Episode 6 – AJ breaks out of the mental control and vows to take the fight to Hit Woman.

Episode 7 – Wearing two of the greatest catsuits ever made, Hi-Kix and Vixen take out two of Hit Woman’s toughest bodyguards.

Episode 8 – Hit Woman dishes out a beating to Diva, but learns the fight was all part of a plan hatched by AJ called “Project Revenge.”

Which leads us to…

Episode 9 opens up with a montage of AJ training her ass off mixed with a montage of AJ getting her ass kicked back in Episode 4. As we found out in the brilliant Episode 8, AJ had secretly sent Diva to distract Hit Woman just long enough so she could extract revenge on Soren.

AJ enters Soren’s lair and interrupts a call between Soren and Hit Woman. The call we saw HW make at the end of Episode 8. AJ borrows Soren’s phone and throws some sass HW’s way. Soren and AJ square off, and right off that bat, the unstoppable AJ seems to be back. She tears into Soren and beats him around the room quite easily. Soren attempts to use some of the command words that greatly diminish AJ’s abilities, but it seems the Kandy Girl has purged them from her mind. That is all except one.

Soren says “Zanotti”, a word we learned back when AJ was in captivity, that puts her into a helpless trance where she won’t even lift a finger to defend herself. Soren takes advantage and starts to tear into AJ. While AJ seems to struggle to fight thorough the command word, Soren lands a face and stomach punch, a kick to the gut and then he lifts AJ off the ground by her throat.

AJ slides down to the floor in a world of pain while Soren equips a special glove that carries an electric charge. Soren runs a current through AJ’s body but makes the mistake of also running a current through her head. This clears AJ of the effects of the command words and she quickly decimates Soren.

And that’s it. Episode over… If it was just about any other producer writing the series.

See, this is why I’m going to retire from the predicting Andrew Fraser business. Because I think most producers would have just had AJ and HW meet again with nobody else involved and have the heroic AJ take the amazon villainess down in a brutal battle. End of series. Good girls win. At least that’s how I thought everything was going to play out.

But, that doesn’t happen here. HW comes out of nowhere and rams AJ in her back. Then, with a chain wrapped around her fist, HW drives punches into AJ’s side and rams her face first into the floor. She then wrenches AJ’s arms behind her back and I think I have to stop here to avoid spoilers. But let me say this. If you enjoyed the endings of the majority of the episodes, I think you’ll be more than happy here. I will say that there’s more work with the chain, a headscissors, and a knockout.

I thought this was great. One of the top episodes of the series. Just a perfect mix of my personal tastes coming together and three actors who just know how to do their jobs really well.

So, where the heck is this all headed now? No fricking clue. I’ve always thought when the smoke cleared the good girls would stand victorious in this series. And they might. But also consider the possibility that Hit Woman will be the only one that’s going to be left standing when this all ends. I can just see the Kandyigrls all on the floor, necks broken, and Hit Woman standing triumphantly over them. That would be an Andrew Fraser move. Heck, maybe that’s why he wanted to be a part of this series. Maybe he got sick of killing off his own characters so he had do this series so he could kill another producers characters. As with all things, time will tell.

I think only one question remains. How soon to Episode 10?

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