Smoking hot lead actress: check. High end production values: check. A completely implausible and ridiculous story line: check. Yep. Must be time for a Zen Pictures review—in this case, Star Decker. The film itself is a few years old but certainly worth covering if for no other reason than the lead actress, Yuuho Kitada.
As you can see by the photos accompanying this review, Yuuho Kitada is the polar opposite of ugly. She spends the entire movie prancing around in an outfit that would make most exotic dancers blush. The thong that she wears exposes approximately 99.8 percent of her backside, and the director takes every opportunity to make sure it is constantly on camera. Yuuho has actually starred in several Giga Freeks productions (Giga is the more hardcore sister site of Zen Pictures). Star Decker is actually available for download at both sites. I would imagine the Zen Pictures release reviewed here is a little more deftly edited.
Mari, a.k.a. Star Decker, is a law enforcement officer who deals with extraterrestrial criminals. When the film opens, she and her partner are tailing a human criminal down an abandoned street. The hilarious thing about this scene is that the are tailing him in a bright blue mini-van and are no more than ten feet behind him at all times. Does the guy being tailed notice? Of course not. He carries a mysterious briefcase and meets up with an alien that also carries a mysterious briefcase. They are about to do a buy for “space drugs” when Star Decker and her partner intervene. Mari immediately puts two full clips of bullets into the alien, but he is relatively unhurt. They grapple for a while and Mari is able to handcuff him thanks to a devastating arm twist. You follow that? Point blank gun fire has almost no effect. She twists his arm a little and easily subdues him. Only at Zen Pictures.
Meanwhile, Mari’s partner is not faring as well with the original human criminal they were tailing. The criminal escapes, but Mari is able to run him down. She returns to headquarters with the two fugitives only to be met by her captain, who is less than thrilled with her actions. Apparently, her orders were to only follow the two criminals and not take direct action against them. There is apparently a powerful figure running things behind the scenes, and the two criminals they brought in are no more than low level thugs.
Determined to make amends, Mari and her partner begin to interrogate the human criminal. Mari offers a presidential pardon for his cooperation, but the criminal refuses to deal in front of Mari’s partner. The partner leaves the room and, in a nice twist, it is revealed that Mari and the criminal secretly have some kind of relationship going on. The criminal feels her up quite a bit as Mari’s partner watches on without being noticed. I’m guessing this entire sequence was heavily edited for the Zen version. Although she is topless for a few seconds, there is no sex scene, though we are given enough visual clues to know that intercourse took place. I can’t be certain, but I’m guessing the Giga version isn’t as family-friendly as this version.
Mari is later approached by her captain, who claims he wants to make amends for giving her a hard time earlier. However, he gives her a drink that is heavily drugged. When she wakes up, she finds that not only does the chief work for the crime syndicate, but her partner does as well. The chief orders her partner to kill her, but he refuses and guns down the chief instead. Then, out of nowhere, her partner gets a bullet in the head from another alien that we’ll just call the Predator. Why? Because he looks exactly like the Predator.
Mari and the Predator engage in a gun duel. The bad news for Mari is that the Predator wields a large chain gun. The good news is that he is an awful shot. He shoots hundreds of bullets at Mari and misses every single time. The battle turns more physical and Mari is very much on the receiving end of things. She is punched in the stomach, strangled, throat lifted, stomped, stepped on and thrown around the room. She is pretty much down and out, but is able to get her hands on the chain gun, and put the alien down.
Star Decker is a perfect example of why a I love Zen Pictures. They weave a ridiculous story but take the subject matter so seriously that you don’t even notice. The real draw here however is Yuuho Kitada. I think she is easily one of the best looking women ever to be cast by Zen Pictures and she gives a great performance. The director also deserves some credit because I had no idea that there were so many angles available from which to shoot a girl’s butt, but he found every single one. Seriously, I’m guessing a quarter of the film is dedicated to shots of this woman’s hindquarters, which is actually fine by me.